Prelim

AS Opening Sequence

Wednesday 11 November 2009

Feedback for treatment

During the lesson we presented our treatments to the class wre had to give out and take in feedback, here is the feedback my group recieved;

*The themes are clear and it is easy to see that the story is about romance however it is too extreme, teenage romances are often confortable to watch and nothing too dramatic happens however our story is full of murder and torture which is unlikely for teenage romance.

*The opening sequence jumps into the story too quickly and it needs to be broken down to not tell the story straight away.

*The ending does not make sence and the charecter has no motivation to kill herself

*The fact that Ricardo dates one of the bullies is irrelivant and should be changed.

*We need to watch more openings of teenage romance films and get more ideas before rewriting the pitch.

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